February 14, 2011
I work with a woman who is going through a rough patch in her life right now. She has uncertainty about her health that is affecting every aspect of her life. She was recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). It is a disease that is nearly impossible to determine and predict its course. Some people have mild symptoms that flare up from time to time and then recede. For others, the disease progresses slowly over decades to where they become debilitated, bed-bound, and unable to care for themselves. Still others decline within months at a very fast rate. The problem is that even people with MS in the advanced stages have healthy hearts and minds, so the potential is there to live many years in a state of helplessness, with no end in sight.
Having worked with this woman and having had several conversations with her, I found out she has a three year old son. She fears a day that her MS will progress to the point when she will be physically unable to care for her child. Her opportunity to do the things a mother does for their child may some day be taken away from her. Her husband has separated from her. I’m speculating (having never spoken to him) that the unpredictability of an illness like MS is weighing on his mind. Perhaps he fears a loss of his lifestyle or freedom some day if the time comes when he will need to be the primary caregiver for not only his child, but his wife as well.
The two are not divorced yet, and in our most recent conversation, she admitted to me that she doesn’t want a divorce. I pray each day as I go to work for her and her husband that God would work in their hearts, and it seems He is working in her heart to avoid divorce. But besides the stress of uncertainty over her physical ability to care for her child, her husband is using her MS against her in seeking to have their son live with him full-time. She also has stress over the fear of losing her job if she becomes physically unable to perform her duties. She owns horses and used to give riding lessons. She was having problems boarding her horses once her and her husband split up and by now, she may have had to give up her horses altogether.
So, as you can see, she has so much stress caused by so much uncertainty in her life. One day I saw her talking with a family member of a patient in the hospital. This family member claimed to be a psychic and claimed she was able to tell the future and offered to read this woman’s palm if she so desired. This woman I work with jumped at the chance, and I overheard this exchange between the two of them. The psychic said, “What do you want to ask me?” The woman answered back with this loaded question, “Will I be alright?” As I walked away to go and do things I needed to do, that one question stuck with me for many days and weeks after. I mulled the meaning of that question over and over again in my mind to try to get the essence of the question. Then at one moment, it hit me…what she wanted was assurance. She didn’t want to wonder! She didn’t want to deal with the stress of what uncertainty brings. She wanted to know right then and there, one way or the other, so she could move on and prepare herself for what was to be.
That’s what I believe her question was all about. “Will I be alright?” That really means “Tell me yes or no so I know what’s coming.” Okay! So she wants assurance of what’s to come. Now I mulled that over in my mind for several weeks. Why does she need assurance? Then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. She lacks anything to trust her life and wellbeing to. I put myself (being a Christian) in her shoes and thought how hard it would be, even as a Christian, with faith in God, to put all my cares, worries, anxieties, and stress over my MS on God (First Peter 5:7). So as hard as it is for me to trust God with my life and medical conditions and all that it brings with it, she has nothing! That’s why she feels she needs to know one way or the other! She can’t do anything else! She has nothing to put her faith in. She’s going it alone. So now my prayers have included God bringing a Christian into her life who has influence with her, and to prepare her heart to be receptive to that person’s ministry.
Assurance is defined by Webster’s Dictionary in these ways: confidence of mind or manner: easy freedom from self-doubt or uncertainty and something that inspires or tends to inspire confidence. That’s what she lacks. She lacks anything that will give her confidence to face to future. She has nothing to combat the uncertainty that is her medical condition. That’s why she wants assurance. She wants to be certain and confident about her future…either way.
The Bible speaks of assurance. We place our faith in God for salvation. We then, by faith, have confidence that when we die, we will go to Heaven. Assurance inspires confidence. That confidence comes from God. “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put CONFIDENCE in man” (Proverbs 118:8). The words of mere humans cannot come close to helping this woman right now. No psychic will give her that confidence she so desires. “For the LORD shall be thy CONFIDENCE, and shall keep thy foot from being taken” (Proverbs 3:26). That’s what she needs to get her through the uncertainty…the confidence that God can bring someone in times of crisis and suffering.
The Bible gives two examples of times when faith in God can help keep people immoveable in times of uncertainty. The first is brought to us by way of the apostles’ boat ride. Everything started off well. Matthew 8:23-27 reads that the disciples followed Jesus into the ship. Then, there arose a strong tempest and the ship was covered with waves. This storm took the disciples out of their comfort zone. All of a sudden, things didn’t look so good. They had little to no control over their situation and began to panic. Jesus, on the other hand, was sleeping. The disciples ran to Him in a panic and looked to Jesus because they believed they were about to perish. Then, Jesus calmed the winds and the sea, and restored peace in the hearts of the disciples who thought for sure that the end was upon them. But look what Jesus said in Matthew 8:26, “Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith?”
How could somebody like my co-worker go through CT-scans every month or two, and stay calm and not become fearful when the tests reveal the MS is still progressing and advancing? The answer is faith in God and the assurance that comes with knowing and believing that God is in control and is willing to take care of you as your disease progresses. Just like everything was good and comfortable for the disciples in the boat, until bad weather came, and they became fearful, so too can those with illnesses become fearful as the symptoms progress and you are unable to have any control over your circumstances.
The second example of faith in God giving someone the ability to be immovable is found in Ephesians 4:13-14, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive.” The specific application here is the growing up in the knowledge of God’s word to completeness, so we become less like baby Christians and become adults ready and able to help others. These verses are mainly speaking of knowing your doctrine and not being led astray by every wind of doctrine. But there’s an underlying spiritual component that fits what I’m talking about here.
Psalm 1:4 explains, “The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.” Job 22:18 describes chaff in relation to wind in this way, “They are as stubble before the wind, and as chaff that the storm carrieth away.” So often in the Bible, chaff is known for being blown away very easily. Not so with the wheat. There is a centuries old practice of gathering wheat. When wheat is collected, the chaff is mixed and mingled among the wheat, but there is very little substance to the chaff. So these old mountain villagers would take the mixture and put it in the middle of a big blanket or tablecloth. They would then use the tablecloth to toss the mixture of wheat and chaff into the air. On a windy day, the chaff (with not much substance) would be carried away by the wind, thus leaving the wheat right where it was, because it had substance, and was immovable.
Now, back to my story of this woman facing MS, or of anyone else facing a difficult disease. Faith in God gives one substance to their life, especially as Ephesians talks about us reaching perfection, or completeness, and we become more like adults and less like children. Not every wind (nor storm) should carry us away. Faith in God changes us from chaff to wheat. We can have staying power when storms and winds blow. That’s how, even in the face of discouraging test results, any present disappointment should not turn to despair. It’s been said that to despair is to turn your back on God. I think, conversely, to remain positive and unmoved by all the circumstances surrounding your disease is a way to openly show the faith you inwardly hold. That, of course, would be a great testimony for the unsaved.
So for now, I’ll keep praying for her. She’ll keep reaching for anything that gives her hope, and I’ll be on the lookout for opportunities to speak with her as God gives them to me. Whether it is psychics, palm readers, or whatever else she wants to anchor her hopes upon, they will all prove worthless in the end. None can give the assurance she’s looking for and the confidence that no matter happens, she’ll be alright…that requires faith in God and God alone. Only He can cause her, or anyone else, to be immovable as the storms come and the winds blow.
