March 6, 2010
In a book called “Beyond Seduction,” David Hunt (1987) makes the claim that the modern church has been invaded by the “most dangerous and at the same time most powerful form of modernism.” The “dangerous and powerful” form of modernism he was referring to was psychology. Some in the Christian Church have called the term Christian Psychologist an oxymoron. Others, on the other hand, readily embrace the role psychology plays in the lives of Christians. Some psychologists believe that psychology can be a science of values that is able to point one in the direction of God’s Moral Wisdom through nature and human phenomena.
All of the classical theories of marriage and family therapy have psychology and secular humanism at the heart of each of their respective constructs. Each of the theories has the same goal of restoring the family back to healthy functioning. The differences between the therapies lie in the beliefs about how pathology forms and how families become unhealthy, and what therapeutic techniques are used toward restoration.
Since the fall of man, perfection has become unachievable and conflict, strife, deviant behavior and such are part of the human experience. The Bible addresses these and similar issues. Therefore, let’s focus on comparing and contrasting psychology-based theories and processes with God’s Wisdom and direction found in the Scriptures. It is my premise that 2nd Timothy 3:16 is unequivocally accurate and infallible, and that all aspects of therapy used to bring about change in families need to be measured against the Scriptures.
Marriage and family are certainly near and dear to the heart of God. After all, marriage was the first institution created by God way back in the Garden of Eden when He saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone. In Genesis 2:24, God created Eve and said that “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be as one flesh.” Marriage was instituted before the church was.
It was God’s original plan that marriage and family were to be the building block foundations for how society was to grow. God commanded Noah after the flood in Genesis 9:1 to be fruitful and to multiply and to replenish the earth. Satan is aware of the plan that marriage and family should be a foundation for society, that’s why, since the Garden of Eden he has attempted to drive a wedge between husband and wife through deceit and lies (Genesis Ch 3).
Notice the first instance of marital discourse in Genesis 3:7 when they were ashamed to be naked in front of each other. There was an instantaneous loss of intimacy. The discord was also evidenced by the fact that Adam blamed Eve for giving him the fruit and then blamed God for giving Eve to him. In turn, Eve blamed the serpent (who of course didn’t have a leg to stand on) (Genesis 3:12,13).
Obviously, Adam and Eve sinned against God and did not have that “perfect story book marriage,” but God forgave them and restored them. This is the key to what Biblical marriage and family counseling should be all about. Adam and Eve had no one other than God to help. They didn’t have any classical theories, they didn’t have self-help books, and one could even argue that they didn’t have a Bible either, but I doubt they needed it when God walked with them (Genesis 2:8). They relied on God for restoration of their marriage and it was restored.
Today we have trained professionals in the field of marriage and family therapy. Their desire is to help families restore themselves back to a healthy level of functioning. But, as Christians, doing marriage and family therapy, let’s keep in mind that it’s not the counselor who creates change, nor is it the family itself, but God who restores. This is why I believe we need to counsel out of one philosophy, the Bible. Every word is inspired by God, including 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that states, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.”
The Word of God is profitable for reproof and correction, but not only that, it’s also able to furnish us, or thoroughly equip us (2 Tim 3:17). Basically stated, if the Scriptures are properly used and applied to our lives, it provides us with all we need for life and the ministry.
Why do we feel enlightened today when many counselors have been trained in liberal arts colleges and universities filled with unbiblical philosophies and secular humanistic ideas? We should examine closely various aspects of the belief systems that formed most of today’s theories. For example, we applaud the advances in marriage and family therapy by people like Murray Bowen. He is considered one of the leading men in his field, inspiring a generation of students but he was also a theorist who considered humans to be evolutionary beings. In light of that, we need to be careful of other false beliefs that may have contributed to some other components to his theories.
Another group of theorists who have taken God’s Holy institution of marriage and denigrated it are the psychoanalysts. In Nichols and Schwartz’s textbook Family Therapy: Concepts and Methods, you can read several terms psychoanalysts use in today’s literature that explain how two people choose to marry one another. They suggest two people get together in order to marry a “blurry blend of real and hoped-for mates.” Others describe this phenomena with different terms such as, “mutual projective identification,” “neurotic complimentary,” “marital collusion,” “mutual adaptation,” and “conscious and unconscious contracts.” Those terms will never be seen on a Hallmark anniversary card.
I won’t say that any theory created by a worldly mind is of no use to a Christian Counselor. It is my contention, though, that one must carefully discern whether the theory or techniques being utilized are able to align with the Scriptures and not go against them. For instance, I find much of Structural family therapy to be in line with the Bible (explained more completely later), but I have a hard time finding any Biblical basis for much of psychoanalysis.
I will very generally pick a few points of each major classical theory in marriage and family therapy today. I will try to incorporate areas where I find Biblical truths line up with a theory or technique, and also expose areas where techniques may not be in line with what God expects of us as Christians.
Study any of the classical theories of marriage and family therapy, and you’re sure to come across terms that aren’t in the day-to-day vernacular of most people. Terms like “differentiation of self” and “triangulation,” are associated with Bowenian therapy. Within the research body of Strategic family therapy you will come across terms such as, “family homeostasis,” and “reframing.” “Structural family therapists will focus on “structure of the family,” “boundaries,” and “hierarchal structure.” Experiential family therapy deals with such terms as “flexibility and freedom,” and “individual self-expression.” Psychoanalysts like Sigmund Freud focus on primitive instinctual human processes. Lastly, “schemas,” is a key component to cognitive-behavioral therapy.
Though these terms do not appear in the Bible as such, Biblical principles or truths either support or contradict the aforementioned aspects of each theory. In the proceeding sections, we shall review each of the six theories and take a closer look at how today’s humanistic philosophies can or cannot be integrated with Scripture. This review is beneficial for those who are seeking marital counseling, and for people like myself, who wish to remain nouthetic (Biblical) in practice and not taint our therapy with unscriptural secular advice, no matter how innocent it sounds.
Differentiation of self is the ability one has to somehow become their own person able to free themselves from their family of origin. During this process, individuals are able to make definite stands on ideas and issues. Guerin describes this person as being able to partially free himself from the emotional chaos of his family (Guerin, Fay, Burdern & Kautto, 1987). There certainly is Scriptural basis for differentiation of self as described in Genesis. God had just finished creating Eve and created the first institution, marriage. Specifically, God said that for this cause (marriage) “shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). There is expected to be a definite separation from the family of origin. Separation is to be physical, emotional and spiritual and the result is to be a complete and exclusive oneness with your mate.
Triangulation is the process by which one or both partners will bring a third party into the dynamic of the marriage for support or sympathy. Though the therapist can function in this role for a period of time during therapy, any outside person creating a triangle will ultimately do nothing to resolve the underlying conflict and will actually create more harm than good. Biblically, the best illustration of a marriage is that of Christ’s relationship to His church (Eph. 5:23-24). Also, God has intended marriage to be for fellowship and well being (Genesis 2:18) because it was not good for man to be alone. He then created Eve in Genesis 2:24. Adam and Eve were alone with themselves to deal with any issues that arose between them after the fall…alone with God that is. I think the only triangle God is interested in when it relates to a married couple is God at the head and open lines of communication between both spouses and between Himself.
Strategic Family Therapy
Strategic family therapy is a type of therapy that has come to be associated with the idea of being a problem-focused, directive approach to the treatment of the symptomatic behavior. Strategic family therapists are now looking beyond just the subsystems in the family, and are now including how the community can affect the family. There is certainly enough Scripture to see how the world can affect the Christian and his home and the Bible gives ample warnings (Rom 12:2; 1 John 2:15-17).
Homeostasis is the concept whereby a family will make various attempts to maintain it’s present state of comfort and remain unchanged as much as possible. Homeostatic mechanisms in families help the family to resist change thereby maintaining a certain peace. An example of this would be a psychosomatic illness that diffuses family conflict. The illness is a homeostatic mechanism. The very notion that families are seeking peace and harmony in their lives should make the counselor run to the Bible and study Philippians 4:6-7 to determine how that “peace that passeth all understanding” may be achieved.
Reframing is the process of relabeling a family’s description of a problem to make it more palatable for the family to be open to change. Basically, it’s letting the family see that the “problem” is helping the family maintain its homeostasis. In this context, I don’t see a problem with this notion of calling something by a different name to make it seemingly less vile, but it’s not a carte blanche to use it anytime for anything. Things in the Bible that God calls abominations should remain just that, abominations. They should not be sugar coated. For example, drunkenness and homosexuality are abominations. You can’t reframe someone’s drunkenness by saying it’s a disease. The same with homosexuality, if that’s the underlying problem in the family. If it’s sin, it must be labeled and confronted that way. Anything else will be doing God and your family a disservice.
Structural Family Therapy
Structural family therapy is essentially based on the premise that the family is a rule-governed system operating within a given set of rules and tolerance limits for departure from those rules. This discipline is focused on just what its term describes, the structure of the family. The therapist will look at boundaries within the family and also assess a family’s hierarchal structure. Both of these notions have Biblical basis to them.
Boundaries, in relation to families, are the emotional limits between individuals within the family that protects and enhances all levels of the system, from the individual, to the subsystem (children, parents) to the family as a whole. When these boundaries get blurred, enmeshment can develop and with that comes the possibility of intergenerational coalitions between a parent and a child, to the virtual exclusion of the other parent. This was seen mostly in the Old Testament family of Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob and Esau. If you study that family, there was enmeshment between Isaac and Esau and between Rebekah and Jacob. This intergenerational coalition between Rebekah and Jacob actually led to the two of them plotting to deceive Isaac, the father, into giving Jacob the blessing that Isaac was planning on bestowing on his favorite son, Esau (Gen 26:28 & Gen 27:1-29). To eliminate the sin and destruction that can arise from these skewed boundaries, God’s Word suggests the restructuring of the hierarchy of the family.
Hierarchal structure refers to the ideal plan to have the parents at the top of the familial pyramid, with the children being below them in authority. This hierarchal structure in a Christian home has several expectations for individuals and subsystems. For instance, the father is to be head of the household and authority over their wives (Gen 3:16; 1 Cor 11:3; Eph 5:23). Likewise, wives are supposed to be in subjection to their husbands (Eph 5:22,24; 1 Pet 3:1) and to be obedient to their husbands (1 Cor 14:34; Titus 2:5). Children in the home are certainly supposed to be in a subordinate role to their parents. In Proverbs 1:8-9 the Bible says they should attend to parental teaching. Leviticus 19:3 tells children they should fear their parents and should also honor them according to Hebrews 19:9. Lastly, acting in this subordinate role, children are to obey their parents (Prov 6:20; Eph 6:1). As you can see, God’s Word speaks much about the boundaries and hierarchal structures of the family. The “father” of Structural Family Therapy, Salvador Minuchin just took an old idea and made it new.
Experiential Family Therapy
The goal of experiential family therapy is the same as any of the others, the restoration of the family to a level of healthy functioning. Experientialists focus their efforts on bringing about change through direct and clear communication, which will then lead to individual and family growth. Experientialists believe that the role of feelings to bring about change is great and that families in therapy need to achieve a heightened sense of what is being discussed and the goals to be achieved, in order to elicit the best results. According to this particular view, there is great emphasis placed on flexibility and freedom and on individual self-expression in the realm of experientialist therapy.
Flexibility and freedom and individual self-expression go to the heart of what experientialist goals are with respect to helping families in therapy. This goes to the assumption that to free individuals and release impulses, effort needs to be made to unlock deeper levels of experiencing. All this is based on the assumption of the basic “goodness of human nature.” Here I have to disagree with their assumption of the “goodness of human nature.” My concordance delivers forty-five characteristics of an un-renewed heart. All of these characteristics are negative. These are the characteristics of the flesh. This is human nature. As a renewed heart that has the indwelling Holy Spirit, it is changed from its former nature (2 Cor 5:17). This is the experience that must be recognized and heightened…the goal to be more Christ-like in our marriages and families.
Cognitive-Behavioral Family Therapy
Cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT) is currently at the forefront of contemporary psychotherapy. With their emphasis on family schemata, CBT therapists believe a person’s behavior is shaping and being shaped by the family. CBT is subsequently a systems theory.
The fundamental basis of CBT is the idea of the development of a schemata. Basically put, it’s the phenomena that each individual family member interpret and evaluate one another and emotions and behaviors are generated in response to these thoughts. These schemas can be handed down from the families of origin and will thereby shape the present family. Daily parenting and the overall function of the household will have an effect on the development of family schema to their children. Truthfully, this is where I believe alcoholism is a learned family behavior and not a genetic sickness. Just because it’s seen in many families does not make it a genetic trait.
With respect to schemas in the present family affecting the development of the children’s schema, we can again see the importance of teaching couples a good solid Biblical foundation by which to run their households. Proverbs 22:6 immediately enters the mind in relation to schemas. It states, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old he will not depart from it.” See what God promises? Form a Godly home and your children will learn its components (schema formation) and they will in turn develop a Godly home themselves when they are older and incorporate the schema from the family of origin and integrate it into the next generations family schema.
Conclusion
A much more exhaustive study could
have been done on any one of these theories alone. Certainly, as has been
revealed, there are Biblical truths to some of the major components to
today’s classical theories of marriage and family therapy. The exception
lies with psychoanalytic family therapy for reasons too numerous to explain
now.
Let’s not forget that
God’s Word pre-dates modern man’s works and knowledge base. Let’s not
forget that God is omniscient. Let’s not forget that He created all that is
in this world and therefore knows its inner workings better than we do with
our finite minds. Why then should we study the theories of modern man and
integrate our faith, when we should be testing whether these theories
can be integrated into our Christian worldview. In light of 2
Timothy 3:16, the direction we should go with any counselor interested in
integrating faith into therapy is always to see how it stands against the
Bible.
