FAMILY MATTERS
August 21, 2009
The Truth About Lying
I can tell you honestly that since becoming a Christian, I haven’t lied once in all that time. And I’m not lying to you right now. I’m being 100% honest…I haven’t lied once since becoming a Christian. Later, I’ll prove that statement to you. But, in the meantime, what about lying? Why do we lie? How do we lie? What are the origins of lies? Are some lies OK…you know, “little white lies?” And really, are lies all that damaging all the time?
As for the origins of lying, it’s pretty clear. Satan is known as the “father of lies” in John 8:44, “Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.” The devil gained that reputation just three chapters into the Bible where we find that Satan used lying, deceit, and misrepresentation to cause Eve to sin (Genesis 3:1-5), thus plunging the world into its current state. So, in the first scenario, the devil lied to get someone else to do something. Peer pressure at school can contain an element of lying. “Marijuana’s not really bad…everyone’s doing it” “Don’t you know you can’t get pregnant your first time.” Those examples of peer pressure lies, and others, aren’t so far-fetched.
The devil also got into the heart of Cain and caused him to lie when God confronted him about his murdered brother, “And the Lord said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9). In the case of Cain, he lied because he had been caught in a wrongdoing and sought to avoid taking responsibility for his prior actions. If your younger children hurt the cat because they were stuffing it in a hat box and you ask them if they have any idea why the cat is unhappy, they’ll more than likely say, “I don’t know.” It’s almost cute and excusable at that age, but watch any true crime or detective documentaries and you’ll find grown adults resorting to three-year-old tactics when confronted with the same questions about murder that Cain faced. They’ll flat-out lie.
So we’ll lie to protect ourselves, (as was the case with Cain) and others will lie to get us to do things we shouldn’t (as with Eve, as well as peer pressure in today’s schools). But what about lies we say to protect other people’s feelings? How about…“Does this dress look good on me?” You really don’t think so, but you know it’s their favorite dress, so you say, “Yes, I think it looks great.” Obviously it’s a lie because you don’t think that at all. So what about that? Well, if we want to be black and white about Scripture, a lie is a lie…is a lie… Now the damage that can be done is this…someone else may humiliate the person in public worse than if you had spoken the truth to your friend in private. Also, your friend who has now been humiliated may come to you for an explanation. Your decision to lie and spare her feelings will now call into question the validity of every answer to every question she has asked you in the past. Trust will become lost and a friendship will be strained. All because you thought a “little white lie to spare a friend’s feelings” was harmless.
Here’s another type of lie, when you get to the bottom of it. It’s knowingly stating a response in such a way that the person is left to infer exactly what you want them to…but what you want them to infer is not the truth. Case in point: I have not lied once since becoming a Christian. Well, that’s true. And I want you to believe that since becoming a Christian, I have NEVER lied. But what I said was that I have not lied ONCE since becoming a Christian. The truth is I haven’t lied once since becoming a Christian, but rather I have lied MANY times since becoming a Christian. This is called twisting the truth or twisting the facts to “absolve” yourself from actually stating a bold-faced lie, because, after all, they must have taken it the “wrong way.”
Now, rumors are rumors because the person passing them along is not 100% sure they are facts. So, if you partake in the spreading of rumors in the church that will cause divisions, people will soon join sides, unity will be destroyed, and confusion will set in. God will have little opportunity to work in a church where such confusion is taking place. Just like in a family, if there is lying, there will be distrust and a loss of unity and the harmony that unity brings. Suppose you tell your parents that you’re going to the movies, but instead you go to your friend’s house while their parents are away and you drink and do drugs. Later that night, you are either pulled over for driving under the influence, or worse, you end up in the emergency room barely conscious. Your sin will find you out (Numbers 32:23) and you will lose the liberating freedom that comes with being believed.
Someone once said that if you always tell the truth, years later you will never have to remember what it was that you said, because the truth will stay consistent over time, whereas a lie will fade from memory and eventually will grow into contradictions depending on how many people you need to perpetuate that lie to. Not only that, if God’s really working on your heart and wants to see you succeed for Him, He’s not going to let you have any moment’s rest about lying, simply because it is too damaging to not deal with immediately. Here’s my own testimony to prove that point…
Last summer a fellow church member gave me some videos to watch. I got so busy with everything else I was doing that I didn’t have time to look at them. Then, one day, in the parking lot before church, he asked if I had watched them…and I lied and said “yes.” I lied for two reasons. First, I didn’t want him to think I was ungrateful to him for giving me those videos. I didn’t want him thinking I just took them to be polite and tossed them in a draw later. The other reason I lied was so that I wouldn’t look like I discounted his friendly gesture toward me. I wanted to protect his feelings and my reputation. Well, God didn’t let me have a moment’s rest…literally…from the time I lied until I came clean and apologized to him at the next Bible study.
Why did God come down on me so heavy over lying? Because all you have to do is lie once…get away with it…and it becomes easier and easier each time you lie. There’s a Chinese Proverb that says, “Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch you words for they become action. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch you habits for they become character. Watch your character for it becomes destiny.” Of course anywhere in that proverb we have the ability to repent and get right with the Lord, but if we don’t, we can sear our conscience to the point that we are able to lie willingly and not feel the slightest bit disturbed by it. And lying has the potential to destroy unity in families and churches. That’s why it’s such a big deal to God. And if you think that Chinese proverb is just a bunch of words, it echoes Proverbs 23:7, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” It’s not just what is said (the lie) that is the big deal, but what is in the heart that matters, and a seasoned liar will, over time, develop a heart for lying…hence the warning of Proverbs 23:7 and why God hates lying (Proverbs 12:22).
In First Samuel 21 & 22, David had been on the run because Saul had begun to convince himself of something that wasn’t true…essentially lying to himself. Then, because of that, David’s life was in danger. His wife agreed to help him flee, but when confronted by Saul’s men, she lied about David to spare herself. This lie caused Saul’s men to despise David and they desired all the more to find him. So David, still on the run, looked to a priest for help, but knew the priest wouldn’t help him if David told the truth, so David lied to the priest. The priest, in turn, gave David food and a sword. One of Saul’s men, Doeg, saw this from afar…not knowing the lie that David told…and assumed the priest was aiding and abetting David. So Doeg reported back to Saul, and King Saul ordered the execution of all those priests. Thus, 85 men of God were slain because of David’s one lie. David repented and penned Psalm 120:2 where he asks God to deliver his soul from “lying lips.”
Some other examples from Scripture of people lying:
A. Serpent - Gen. 3:1-5
B. Cain - Gen. 4:9
C. Abraham - Gen. 12:10-20; 20:1-18
D. Isaac - Gen. 26:6-11
E. Jacob - Gen. 27:6-35
F. Laban - Gen. 29:15-30
G. Hebrew midwives - Exod. 1:15-21
H. Rahab - Josh. 21-6; 6:17,22-25
I. Ananias and Sapphira - Acts 5:1-11
As we wrap this up…we must be mindful of the fact that if we are truly Christians, we should be undergoing a process of sanctification as we strive to become more and more Christ-like. Several verses in the Bible speak to God’s character as being truthful (Numbers 23:19; Hebrews 6:18; Titus 1:2; John 14:6). If we lie, we are exhibiting characteristics ascribed to Satan and his ilk (John 8:44; Revelation 12:9; 20:10). As Christians we are to speak truth (Matthew 5:37; Ephesians 4:15; 4:20; Colossians 3:9).
And now…a little levity…
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age.
The group surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys were hurting the dog, he went over and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?"
One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we've decided that whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie will get to keep the dog."
The reverend was taken back. "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, give him the dog."
